With Hindsight: How Infidelity Impacts Marriage And Why It Occurs
It can happen very innocently. At the exercise room you can be talking to a person of the opposite sex working out next to you about your spouse and problems you're going through. This person is good looking and listens patiently to all your issues. You keep showing up at the gym at the same time week after week to work out and become friends. He or she suggests going for coffee after the workout. One thing leads to another and before you know it you're in an extramarital relationship. It was not meant to happen, but it happens.
Like a bad moon on the rise, marital infidelity is increasing every day, with one or both spouses in approximately 40 percent of marriages admitting to having affairs; most are sexual, but some are simply emotional. More men than women admit to having an extramarital affair at least once in the course of their marriage. The average affair lasts about two years. This is one of the main reasons why 53% of all marriages in America end up in divorce.
These figures are amazing when it has been found that 80 percent of Americans say that infidelity in marriage is wrong. Hence, it's generally not approved of in America.
Males usually cheat for one main reason: sex. After children come along in a marriage, many men no longer have a sexual desire for their wives. They see their wives as maternal figures instead of sexually desirable. Plus, they find that during marriage, the sex becomes mechanical and routine, lacking the adventure and adrenaline rush they desire. Additionally, an affair boosts their egos, proving they still have what it takes.
Females, on the other hand, do not usually cheat for sex, but rather for an emotional bond. Sex is secondary, however. Women often find themselves left out emotionally from their husbands. She is regarded as the care giver, the cook and house wife, regardless of her work situation. When she meets a man that sees her as something more, that is normally when the affair begins. Surprisingly, when females initiate the affair, it usually lasts three times longer than when men initiate it.
When infidelity in marriage occurs, it is a signal there are problems within the marriage. People change, but often spouses don't change at the same rate. Often, one spouse will develop dependency on their spouse, not being open to having a life of their own and it'll begin to suffocate the other person.
With all the outside factors, it is easy to lose sight of what is really going on within a relationship and before long, there are issues and neither spouse desires to take any blame. The lines of communication break down. Keeping a good marriage going is hard work and most people today would rather take the easy way out.
The rising availability and influence of the Net is making this situation worse with ten percent of users reporting they are addicted to sex in cyberspace and other online enticements. Even though these web affairs don't involve physical contact they can still destroy marriages & relationships.
Sometimes marriages can survive marital infidelity but they are rare and the relationship between the spouses is never the same. There's constant wonder whether it'll happen again. Trust is an essential part of a secure marriage and once that has been broken, often times it is irreparable. Communicating with your partner may resolve a lot of the problems before they get out of control. Marriage is a promise and most people today do not seem ready for that.
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